Applicant #51: Kelli Schmidt

Kelli Schmidt is a mom from Seattle.

My video application:

A bit about me:

Hi, I’m Kelli, and I am a single, adoptive mom with a funny and vivacious two year-old daughter and an aggressively friendly cat. In addition to being a mom, I am also a civil rights attorney, filmmaker, avid reader, and culinary dilettante. Movies in which teens sing, dance, cheer, and stand up to the popular crowd are my guilty pleasure.

Before becoming a mom, I was a board member at the Metrocenter YMCA, a kickball player, and a mentor for Reel Grrls, an organization whose mission is to empower young women from diverse communities to realize their power, talent and influence through media production. Recognizing that a baby might cut into my busy schedule just a bit, I scaled back on those and other activities when my daughter arrived. But I enjoy volunteering, really missed creating, and worried about losing my “non-mom” self. So, I’ve found new ways to stay engaged on a smaller scale: I’m on the safety and green initiative committees at work, volunteer at my daughter’s day care, and, this winter, I took 4 days “off” of parenting and work to co-direct an award-winning, short documentary film.

People, usually non-parents, sometimes ask me, “How DO you manage as a single, working parent all by yourself?” And the simple answer is: I don’t. Having lived in Seattle for 20 years, I’ve developed an incredible community of support. I know several adoptive families, many of them headed by single moms, who serve as shining examples. The five moms in my mom’s group are a calm and steadying influence while navigating parenthood, day care, work, and my daughter’s typical toddler behavior. When I’m at work, our day care providers provide my daughter with affection, encouragement, and enriching activities. Additionally, I have several dear friends who baby-sit so I can, occasionally, get out and enjoy live music, adult restaurants, movies and my friends who are less kid-friendly. I also benefit from the love, support and frequent visits of my unconventional family whose escapades will one day be the basis for the as-yet-to-be wri tten, but undoubtedly hilarious, TV comedy, “Post-Modern Family.”

I’m also a long-time Verity Credit Union member and, in 2004, I was proud to promote Verity by sharing my real-life experiences with the financial counseling and mortgage service departments in a radio ad. I’d love to represent the credit union again as the Verity Mom by combining my creative passions and my experience as a parent. And, yes, I’ll admit it, I’m also coveting the $20K, camera, and laptop – I’ve already spent many hours fantasizing about how they’ll be put to good use!

My blog post:

There is a quote that I’ve come across several times since I’ve become a parent that brings me enormous comfort and I find myself returning to it often. It is this: “There is no way to be a perfect parent, but there are a million ways to be a good one.” Amusingly, I first ran across it near the end of an online course I was taking in the hope of becoming a better parent.

I firmly believe that all parents do the best they can and I would be surprised to meet a parent that has not, at some point (or several), felt like they weren’t measuring up. There are certainly plenty of opportunities to do some measuring. I enjoy reading articles and books on parenting, but, I must confess, I don’t really appreciate the daily e-mail “parenting tips” that mysteriously began arriving around the same time as my daughter did. I read them out of a sense of parental duty. When they pop up in my inbox in the morning, I think, “Sure I’ve got a busy day and a full inbox of messages I need to reply to, but, really, if I can’t take the time to read this quick tip that may provide essential parenting information, what kind of parent am I?”

Sometimes I get lucky and the information is something along the lines of “medical symptoms never to ignore,” which appeals to both my safety consciousness and irrational fear that my daughter’s latest bruise or bump is foreshadowing an internal injury that I’ve written off too hastily with “here, let me kiss it! SWAK! All better!”

But frequently, they are more like the one that arrived a few days ago. Don’t quote me on the title – I am paraphrasing here – but the alleged “tip” was a link to an article entitled “17 Ways to be an Exceptional Parent.” It was already a rough morning, I was running late, and my first thought was, “hey, that’s not a tip, that is seventeen tips!” My second thought was a bit more defensive, “Exceptional! Oh really….so what does that make those of us who don’t have the time or inclination to read, let alone do, all 17 of these things?”

Then I was interrupted. My kidlet had fallen, spilled her milk, and was starting to go into full-on meltdown mode because the cat was licking at, as she possessively screamed it, “My milk! My milk!” I glanced at the mess and then the clock (yup, we’re gonna be late again…) and felt my own meltdown coming on. And then I remembered my beloved quote, looked at the screen, and emphatically hit “delete.”

I do not need to strive to be exceptional or develop mastery. All I need to do is kiss my kid’s boo boo, clean up the spilled milk, remember that good is good enough, and hope that there is no internal bleeding.

Kelli