Applicant #31: Natalie Johnson

Natalie Johnson is a mom from Edmonds.

My video application:

A bit about me:

Hi, I’m Natalie Johnson! I’m a 41 year old native Seattleite, have been married for 17 years, and am a stay-at-home mom to four kids ages 9, 10, 12, and 14.

I’m a little bit Martha Stewart, a little bit Cake Boss, a little bit Ty Pennington, a little bit Coupon Mom and a little bit Bill Cosby.

Essentially: I’m in the habit of going borderline OCD on theme parties, often spending 30-40 hours handcrafting everything from backdrops to table decor. (Intervention is imminent…)

I’m crazy in love with creating over-the-top, unusually shaped fondant-laden cakes that are large enough to feed a small nation. (But only if they PERFECTLY match the aforementioned theme parties…)

I regularly request items like circular saws for Mother’s Day so I can build things such as bunk beds from “the blueprints that only live in my head”. (Hey, don’t judge - they have yet to collapse…)

I have been known to live off an adrenaline high for days after the thrill of stocking up on 80+ boxes of cereal scored for .40 cents/box! (Again, intervention is imminent…)

A few times a year I stand on stage in front of a couple hundred people telling jokes about my children’s extraordinary antics and the crazy life that surrounds me.

I am currently the administrator of the “Johnson School of Hard Knocks” Translation: I homeschool my kids. And no – we do not wear denim jumpers, grow our hair to our ankles, or grind our own wheat.

I like laughing till my side hurts, spinning the disco ball (which resides in our living room), and capturing every moment on film.

I can often be found hiding in the bathroom with cell phone in hand, asking older & wiser girlfriends “But are SURE it’s normal that my child said/did/burned down (-fill in the blank-)??!!”

My life is extraordinary yet exhausting, fantastic yet frustrating, outstanding yet overwhelming and more than often I live in a state of being “blissfully frazzled”…

My blog post:

Where’s the Bar??!!

No, I’m not talking about the local pub – although I do find it curious that there are no beverages named for the actual reasons a person might frequent their local establishment. I’d like to see someone place an order for “I’ll take a ‘my-toddler-just-shaved-the-cat-with-my-razor’!”

But I digress – back to the bar. The REAL bar I’m talking about: the “bar of measurement”. All moms that I know, struggle with at least some degree of “How am I doing as a mom?” But how do we measure ourselves as moms? Before motherhood, there was always some form of measurement.

In school we received progress reports and report cards as the “bar” of measurement: A+ equaled – “You’re doing a great job!” Prize? Praise and if you were lucky – a little cash from mom & dad!

F equaled – “You missed the mark!” Consequence? Six weeks of summer school and losing the keys to the family car!

In the workplace, evaluations were the “bar”: A “good” evaluation equaled – “You are a vital asset to our company and we value you!” Prize? Raise or promotion!

A “poor” evaluation equaled –“We’d like you to improve.” Consequence? A stern warning or quite possibly an appointment at the local unemployment agency.

But where is this elusive “bar” in the journey of motherhood? I have yet to receive a “report card” or “evaluation” in my mothering career. [Although, I did keep a “tip jar” on the counter for a while and felt pretty good as long as change was trickling in!]

All moms want to believe that we are doing a great job – but how often does guilt or comparisons to other moms lead us to doubt that we are?

It certainly doesn’t help when we receive raised eyebrows from well-meaning “older & wiser” moms, strangers’ looks of distain boring through our very souls when our two year old has a meltdown on “aisle 9”, or our children take one bite of the meal we spent 2 hours preparing and announce “THIS IS SO YUCKY!”

Mommies – may I be so bold as to propose that there IS no official bar? There is no universal measuring stick, and it is useless to compare ourselves to one other because we have each been given a UNIQUE set of strengths, talents and abilities to do this job.

So what are we to do?

L.O.V.E.

Use every last one of those strengths, talents and abilities to LOVE on that family of yours so they will have NO DOUBT that they are completely and wholeheartedly loved and accepted.

Whether it be baking cookies or giving hugs - leave no doubt in your kids’ minds that they are truly loved.

As we love our kids, let’s remember to believe the best in each other, standing together as moms in the hope that those rascally children of ours will one day -as it was once so beautifully written- “rise up and call us blessed…”

Natalie